Mixed Emotions

It is 2:00 AM in Ukraine, Russ, Cindy and Eric have been asleep for awhile. Me, I am wide awake feeling really homesick and missing my kids and grandkids so bad! Tonight Isaac has his first wrestling match of the season and we can't be there for him. I am so thankful for the rest of the family who will be there to support him and help fill in the gap for us. I am hoping Cheri is able to put the match on utube so we can at least see it. I am trying not to think about what the date is, because I don't want to realize when it is Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and I am half way around the world away from home. I am really struggling with not being the mom or grammy I need to be- life needs to slow down at some point. When doing my devotions today there was a quote from Mother Teresa that said, "A day lived without showing love for others, is a day not worth living." It is love that has brought me here to Ukraine and love that tears me in two as I long for my family at home. I thank God everyday for the wonderful blessings he has brought into my life my kids: Russie, Ryan, Heath, Heather, Isaac, Ana, Lena, Erik. My daughter-in- laws: Cheri, AShley and Jess. My grandkids: Gracie, Bubba, Haiden, Laynie, Riley, Madie, Uriah and Harper. The greatest blessings God could ever give, my kids. Tonight I cry for you because I miss you and long to hug you and look into your eyes. I pray for each of you and I want so much to be the mother and grammy God has called me to be. My greatest responsibility and first call in life above all else is to do all I can to help you to know and love our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and to return you all to him one day. You are mine on loan, my earthly family, but God claims you as His eternally. I pray I will never be a stumbling block to you along your journey, but always an encourager and genuine role model as a lover of Christ. If I helped every one else in the world and one of you would perish I would have failed.
This is trip 4 to Ukraine, kids mama is coming home soon and our family will have grown by two more.
The children here are hungry for love and as Chuck Swindoll once said, "What does the Lord do to help broaden my horizons and assist me in seeing how selfish I am? Very simple: He gives me a home full of busy kids who step on toes, wrinkle clothes, spill milk, lick car windows, and drop sticky candy on the carpet...being unselfish in attitude strikes at the very core of our being. It means we are willing to forego our own comfort, our own preferences, our own schedule, our own desires for another's benefit. And that brings us back to Christ." So this is what brings us to Ukraine along with the desire to exercise the "fruits of the spirit".
When I see the pictured girls above smiling broadly as they sit on the new "duvan" many of you helped to purchase to replace their wooden bench or the warm area rug under their feet to cover the cold cement floor. I rememeber how much we as Americans have. Tonight we had the privilege to meet Lena nad Erik's older half sister and her husband, wonderful people pictured above with Lena and Erik. They shared with us that Lena and Erik never wanted to be adopted until they came to America and spent time with our family. She said they always refused adoption even though she could not care for them herself, but when they came back from the hosting program Lena called her with a long excited explanation of her time in America and how she for the first time in her life undrestood what a family truly was and she wanted us to adopt her. Thank you kids for being the wonderful, warm, welcoming, loving family you all are you have changed the life of two precious kids.
When Lena and Erik's sister and husband ask what we liked about Ukraine we said, "The People here appreciate all they have and in America we often do not, it is easy to expect much and appreciate little." The girls in the picture above are one example of this genuine spirit of appreciation, they ask for nothing and expect nothing and are so very graetful with so very little.
With the money donated for coats we were able to stretch it much farther than just coats thank you to all who have helped we have purchased to date for the children: coats, gloves, children's sleepers, 2 duvans, 2 area rugs, two chairs, underwear, and socks. The orphanage director has given us a list of the greatest needs and we are working to supply them one by one with your help.
Christmas gifts were also brought from host families for the children and they were so excited.
Above two girls model their new coats a gift from America and Mick and Janel pose with their greatest Christmas gift.
This week we hope to get gifts for the younger children for under the Christmas trees that Eric and Cindy Noel provided. Ana has shared that Christmas here means everyone sleeps on the floor with a pillow and candy is placed under there pillow.
I can't wait to see the glitter in their eyes when this Christmas there are actually gifts under the tree. (I can only imagine, I saw the look of awe in little Andre's eyes when we pulled gifts from the Santa gift bag from host families.) Lindy and Doug he is so sweet I just want to squeeze him everytime I see him. He ran right up to me when he saw I was back and stopped right beside me waiting for me to scoop him up in a big hug. He is precious!
This Christmas will be a very different Christmas for our family. I encourage all of you to love on your kids even more than usual this Christmas. Look at them not with your eyes, but through God's eyes and you will stand in awe at the miracle Christmas truly is.