Am I Home?

I can't believe I am taking time to blog, maybe I just need to write my thoughts down to help me deal with my day.
I was so anxious to get home from Ukraine, but feel I am not really home in a sense. My old life is gone and I am scrambling to keep my footing daily. I know blogs are suppose to always cover only the positive side of everything and to be an encouragement to all those who follow, but I feel it would be an injustice to not be honest.
I realize now how very easy Ana adjusted to life in our family. I always said we didn't really have any big issues with her. She has been great through this whole new phase, thank you Jesus. When Erik and Lena first arrived she had a few days of a big attitude and showing off for Erik, but all it took was a talk to explain I was disappointed in her behavior and I explained what needed to change. She has always been very respectful to me, and when we talked she said, "I try Mama." And she has, she has been great. I am not sure what I would do if she were giving me problems also.
Erik has been a major challenge. He has frequent shut downs, he lies, he is disrespectful 90% of the time. The other 10% he is sweet and helpful. I need to figure out how to increase that 10%. Lena is just the opposite she is sweet, helpful, loving and kind 90% and only 10% of the time in shut down or uncooperative. Neither are excited about learning English. Lillian has struggles getting them to cooperate at times and yesterday I spent 3 hours getting about 20 minutes worth of English homework done. When I taught school I never had students so unmotivated, it is a challenge. Ana learned English quickly because she was submersed in the language with no one to speak to. The difference now: Erik, Lena and Ana speak together in Russian (new rule as of yesterday, Ana is no longer going to speak to them in Russian, she will speak to them in English also) Second they are on the computer 3/4 of their waking day talking on Ukrainian facebook and Skyping people in Ukraine (I STRONGLY suggest not allowing this in your home) it is a problem that is now a struggle to correct. Everyone is mad that time is being limited on the computer. If they had their choice they would stay up all night on the computer and sleep until late afternoon everyday. We have allowed a problem to be created, we thought keeping in touch would help the transition, it has not. Instaed they are more submersed in Ukraine than America. DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE I MADE... DON'T ALLOW IT TO START IN THE BEGINNING. Ana NEVER once contacted anyone from Ukraine or had any contact with anyone until the hosting program and her adjustment was much smoother.
I am not going to continue to complain instead I will sum up by saying days are challenging and I feel ten years older. I have not cried so much since I was a teen ager and melt downs for me are to frequent. (Thus far they have been hidden from the kids). Right now I am avoiding any additional responsibility or issues my plate is overfull.
On a more positive note.... I have been blessed to be reunited with my children and grandchildren. We are all spending much time together and they get me through the days without me falling into depression (not kidding on that one). Russie and Cheri's kids are staying with us while they are in the Ukraine- (they are 3 to 8 and easier to take care of than Erik, sorry I slipped again). The pictures I posted are for Russ and Cheri, your kids are doing great and even though it is hectic here they seem to be having a good time and haven't talked about missing you. Last night Laynie and Madie and I did posters for parent week at school, "All About Me". Madie was so cute when she was selecting her pictures. When she would see pictures of her mama and papa she would giggle and touch your faces and say cute things. She said her daddy was precious and her mommy was Cheri Walk and beautiful. then she would tell me how much she loves them. Bubbs and I are doing his Habitat this morning for parent week since we have a two hour delay, he wants to create a 3D forest. He has lots of good ideas for it and is anxious to get started.
So with that thought in mind my time to blog is at an end.